Basic table manners are rules of etiquette that include the appropriate use of utensils, the proper way to wipe food off the mouth, or the right tone of voice at the dinner table. However, children are not born with knowledge of table etiquette. Thus, kids must be taught not to rest an elbow on the table while eating, not to reach over to grab things or not to spit food onto the plate.
Basic manners training could help prepare a child for life. Dining etiquette may seem traditional to some parents, but the right table manners will help refine a child’s social skills as he or she matures. It would also increase the level of their confidence and respect for others, both at home and in social settings. Here are the basic dining manners to teach your child.
Wash Hands Before Eating
At an early age, children must learn the importance of coming to dinner with a clean face and hands, and well-combed hair. In the book The Value of Good Manners, M. Bailey wrote that cleanliness and tidiness are requirements for well-mannered children. Train children to wash their hands before eating. Tell them that this healthy habit is their first line of defense against germs. Then make learning easy by providing soap and towel within their reach. Be their model. Show your kids how to wash hands well. Eventually, they will rush to wash their hands before sitting at the table to eat.
When to Start the Meal
Teaching children table manners should be consistent, simple, and straight to the point. As a basic rule in eating etiquette, no one should eat until everyone is seated at the table and has been served. If guests are expected for dinner, teach your children to wait politely until everyone has taken their seat. However, if your child is very hungry and dinner will be served later than usual, you may offer the child a light snack. Perhaps take the opportunity such as this to explain why one must wait for the others.
Keep Elbows off the Table and Napkin in Lap
Table manners are more than about proper eating, it is also about posture in the dining table. Thus, one must sit well when dining. Elbows off the table will allow the child to sit without slouching or bending over the food. Sitting sideways, fidgeting and so on should also be discouraged because it is impolite.
Likewise, the napkin is an important item for maintaining cleanliness at the table. After unfolding the napkin, it must be placed in the lap to protect the clothing from food spills. Tell your child that it could be use for wiping the face when there is the need to. Demonstrate how to use the napkin to wipe the mouth.
Use Fork not Fingers
The right table manners can make family meals more pleasant. Thus, by age three, your child must know how to use dinner utensils. Jellies, jams and butter are spread on bread using a knife. The fork may be used in applying jelly or butter to vegetables or meat only. Start with lightweight eating utensils because it is such an effort to get the food on the spoon and then to keep it on there all the way to the mouth. Build motivation by letting your child use colorful and playful spoon and fork.
Do not forget to point out the foods for fingers and foods that are not okay for the little hands. Moreover, demonstrate how to dip the spoon into a bowl of soup and bring it to the mouth. Repeat it many times until your child learns to spoon soup less the drip. This would take several practices and an occasional reminder before it will work.
Eat Slowly and Chew Food Well
Wolfing down food is not just a bad manner; it could also be hazardous. When your child behaves this way, show what is the right amount of food that the kind should put into the mouth. When dining with kids, demonstrate how to chew with mouth closed and without the chomping sound. Swallow the chewed food before placing the next piece in the mouth.
Moreover, there are times that your child would be playing with the food, which he does to get your attention. There will be moments that children will blurt out comments about the food. Whatever the case, encourage your child to savor the food. Eating food too quickly is unhealthy and a sloppy behavior. Teach them to take their time and to keep pace with the other people dining with them.
Rule out Rudeness
Rude behavior can be common among young children even at the dining table. Explain that making rude comments about the food is impolite and if the rude table manner continues, he or she will not be allowed to eat again with the family. Serve meals only at the dining table to discourage eating while watching television and eating before everyone else. Do not forget other dining don’ts such as if you drop your utensil, do not retrieve it, instead use a new one, and do not leave your utensils on the table.
There will be times that your child will be bored listening to dining conversation, and may interrupt anyone talking. When this happens, do not give in easily if you want your child to learn patience and respect. Just like any other form of child rearing, dining lessons require constant reinforcement.
The best way to persuade your child to adopt dining etiquette is to set an example. Therefore, make time for dinner, wherein you can demonstrate the good behavior that your child must follow. Because according to Fred Astaire, the hardest job children face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
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